重頭來過 The Second Time Around ／ Siri Atma Singh Khalsa, M.D.
婚姻是帶你走向神的馬車，這是Yogi Bhajan在1979年教導我，也是我現在所相信的。信任神，我並不是去追求一個老婆，而是鞏固我的靈性修練、為了婚姻準備好我自己，讓神照料剩下的事。婚後我發現我個人的靈性練習導致了我個人的快速變化，我們兩人以不同的步調成長，而我調整了我的步調來配合另一半，於是也證實了自我奉獻必然會帶來靈性成長。
MARRIAGE IS THE CARRIAGE THAT TAKES YOU TO GOD. This is what Yogi Bhajan taught me in 1979 and it is what I believe now. Trusting in God, I did not pursue a wife, but rather I consolidated my spiritual practice, prepared myself for marriage and let God take care of the rest. When I was married and found that my personal sadhana would lead to such rapid personal change that we would grow apart, I set my personal pace to match my spouse’s. Thus I verified that personal sacrifice always leads to spiritual growth.
最後我還是面臨了履行我的職責與維持婚姻之間的抉擇，不論我選擇了哪一個，都要付出相當高的代價，我選擇了我認為最好的，但我失去了20年的關係，孩子們被迫面臨我們的離婚，夢想中可以白頭偕老、含飴弄孫的安樂窩也破碎了。最糟的是，我對於伴侶關係的信任也毀滅了。我的不信任感也對建立新的伴侶關係造成困難，而經由堅定的愛與滋養，這個傷痛最終被療癒了。
Eventually I was forced to choose between performing my duty and preserving my marriage. Whichever choice I made the personal cost was going to be high. I chose what I felt was the highest good, but I lost a 20 year relationship, my children where forced through a divorce, and my dreams of a single cozy grandparents’ home was destroyed. Worse still, my trust in a partnership was destroyed. My distrust made constructing a new union difficult for my new partner, though constant love and nurturing eventually has healed this pain.
我學到了一段關係無論有多好或多壞，兩人在一起的時光是無可取代的。儘管如此，在一段關係中當你們不僅彼此相愛，也懂得尊重對方，這段關係便會容易得多。比起過去那段20年的關係，我和新伴侶的4年婚姻交融更深。為什麼呢？我們都已經明白如何去服務與奉獻，何時該主導、何時該順從，我們也都知道如何去療癒及激勵彼此。
I learned that no matter how good or bad a relationship may be, there is no substitute for time spent together. This being said, relationships are a lot easier when you both not only love but also respect each other. With my new partner we have both merged deeper in four years than our 20year prior marriages afforded. Why? We both already knew how to serve and sacrifice, when to lead or follow. We both know how to heal and strengthen each other.
在離婚後建立一段新的關係，和未曾結過婚的人相比需要一套不同的技巧。除了我在伴侶關係中失去信心，我也不確定我實際上有多麼想要或需要一段新的關係。離婚後養育小孩和建立一個舒適家庭的夢想早已消逝。「我們能為彼此做些什麼？」的這個想法成了我的關注。
Creating a new relationship after divorce takes a different set of skills than starting fresh. Besides losing my trust in partnerships, I wasn’t sure how much I really wanted or needed a new relationship. The dream of having children and creating a cozy family free of divorce was gone. ‘What can we do for each other?’ became the focus.
我們對於活出並分享Yogi Bhajan的教導有同等的熱忱。我們的婚姻發展出療癒彼此傷痛及強化彼此力量的能力。我們都擅長於自我滋養，但我們更樂於滋養對方。比起用煩惱與喧囂來度過日常生活，給予和付出更為有趣。Siri Singh Sahib的教導是應用在我們自身的，在確保了我們有力量服務他人的同時，也能夠為彼此和自身服務。
We both want to live and share Yogi Bhajan’s teachings with equal intensity. Our marriage has evolved around healing our wounds and enhancing our strengths. We are both good selfnurturers, but we prefer to nurture each other instead. It is more fun to pass your daytoday in giving rather than hassling and hustling. The Siri Singh Sahib’s teachings are selfapplied to grant us the power to serve others as well as each other and ourselves, just as we are.
Yogi Bhajan曾經考驗我們，而那是很好的經驗。我們知道如何奉獻及分享，也知道何時去放鬆與玩耍。我們尊重彼此的優點與弱點。我們花時間一起享受並表達我們獨一無二的身份，而不是追尋彼此需求的滿足。
Yogi Bhajan tested us both and that is nice. We know how to sacrifice and share and when to relax and play. We respect our strengths and our weakness. We spend our together time enjoying and expressing our unique identities not seeking satisfaction of our personal needs.
我們共享的種種承諾建立起信任，不再熱衷於親密關係，進而是靈魂的融合。Siri Singh Sahib教導我承諾、信任與奉獻，這件事使我倍感祝福，這讓我能夠與他融合，並且也和我的妻子Nam Kaur結合。成功的婚姻需要的工具和靈性道路相同，也許諾了相同的回報，亦即和另一個的靈魂融合為一，個別靈魂進入宇宙意識。
Our shared commitments built trust, bore intimacy, and then a merging of souls. I feel blessed that the Siri Singh Sahib taught me to commit, trust, and sacrifice. This allowed me to merge with him and it allows me now to merge with my wife, Nam Kaur. A successful marriage requires the same tools as the spiritual path and promises the same rewards, merger of one soul with another, Atma into Parmatma.
婚姻不是關於我擁有什麼或你擁有什麼，也不在於我是誰或你是誰。婚姻是關於結合我們的兩極之後，我們能成為什麼。當婚姻的目標是純淨與虔誠地服從這個靈魂，結合就必然會發生，因為只存在一個靈魂。假使我融入我的靈魂或你的靈魂或那無上的靈魂，那都是唯一無二的靈魂，唯一無二的創造物。如果我為了你而活，我服務你的靈魂，我融入你的靈魂，我便跳過了只為自己靈魂服務的靈性小我坑洞。
Marriage is not about what I have or what you have. It is not about what I am or what you are. Marriage is about what we can be by joining our polarity. When the goal of marriage is to obey the soul in purity and piety then union must occur, because there is only one Soul. If I merge into my soul or your soul or the highest Soul, it is all one Soul, one Creation. If I live for you and I serve your soul and I merge into your soul, I escape the pit of Spiritual Ego where I serve only my soul.
婚姻是對自我及公眾聲明，我將服務另一個的靈魂直到無限，我們將甘苦與共，這才是婚姻真正的靈性考驗，這並不是關於世俗上用來取悅神的成功與失敗，而是在於我們承諾與奉獻的能力。因此婚姻是一個與所有靈魂合而為一的練習場。我們承諾要與那唯一無二靈魂融合，不論付出什麼代價，那就是我們所作出的奉獻。祕訣在於持續地滋養我們的性別兩極、和我們的伴侶的最高層次，因為需要兩只翅膀才能飛翔。
Marriage is the personal and public declaration that I will serve this other soul unto Infinity. We will sink or swim together. That is the real spiritual test of marriage. It is not our earthly success or failure that pleases God, but our ability to commit and sacrifice. Marriage is thus a practice ground for merging with all souls. We commit to merge with one soul and whatever it takes, that is the sacrifice we make. The secret is to constantly nurture the highest aspect of our sexual polarity, our partner, because it takes two wings to fly.
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Siri Atma Singh Khalsa, M.D.
Dr. Siri Atma Singh served as one of the Siri Singh Sahib’s personal physicians. He gave up his personal medical practice to devote himself fulltime to the care of his Teacher.
※ 本文章已取得原作者Siri Atma S. Khalsa的授權，由台灣昆達里尼瑜珈教師協會翻譯並發佈，歡迎轉載並請註明出處～
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